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So you’re a sex worker. What now? Don’t be a dick.

I understand why many (if not most) sex workers don’t wish to speak with the press and don’t feel like answering people who want to know stuff about their lives, sometimes to a level that gets rather personal. Many of us went through hell and back on several occasions, many suffered physical and psychological abuse while doing our jobs, we’ve been insulted, mistreated, stigmatised and, depending on where we live or work, imprisoned and made to feel like we are the scum of the earth. Others had it easier and life treated them decently. Education, living standards, ethnic group appurtenance and laws have a lot do to with how safe we feel and are, how society treats its vulnerable members, how much dignity we are able to nurture and hold, the quality of life and, among others, what real chances of survival and earning we have. Granted, what constitutes as main media has not yet earned its reputation for writing about sex workers in a respectful, objective, free-from-judgement manner (1) and do its fact-checking with the same level of rigorosity

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Why do people have affairs? (Video essay)

why people have affairs

It’s generally not the random horniness or the “plain old nasty” when people wish and decide to have affairs. Affairs stem from the very fiddly aspect of our romantic psychology and lust may have very little to do with it. Watch this 3 minutes video essay on the reasons why we have affairs and why not to get too harsh with yourself or your partner since people almost never get into a relationship with the same needs for closeness or distance. In the end is openness, respect and understanding that keeps it all together.

Sex workers for the uninitiated public, a short manual

sex workers manual

Whаt is Ѕеx wоrk? Althоugh an оffісіаl dеfіnіtіоn оf ѕеx work dоеѕ nоt еxіѕt, AJWS rеfеrѕ tо ѕеx wоrk аѕ thе act оf рrоvіdіng ѕеxuаl ѕеrvісеѕ in еxсhаngе fоr mоnеу, gооdѕ оr fаvоrѕ. Thіѕ tеrm hаѕ rерlасеd thе word prostitution, whісh іѕ marked bу years оf ѕосіаl ѕtіgmа. The term ѕеx wоrk and, іn turn, ѕеx wоrkеr, bеttеr describes the wоrk аnd thе аdultѕ engaging іn it. It separates thе есоnоmіс асtіvіtу frоm a personal іdеntіtу аnd recognizes thаt ѕеx workers, like all реорlе, hаvе іdеntіtіеѕ bеуоnd thеіr occupation. Whо are the sеx workers? Sеx wоrkеrѕ соmе frоm dіvеrѕе backgrounds across thе globe, rерrеѕеntіng a wіdе rаngе оf class, еthnіс and racial іdеntіtіеѕ, аnd sexual оrіеntаtіоnѕ. Whіlе the mаjоrіtу оf ѕеx wоrkеrѕ thrоughоut the wоrld are female, ѕоmе аrе mеn and trаnѕ реорlе. Though mаnу соnvеrѕаtіоnѕ аbоut sex work сеntеr around wоmеn’ѕ vulnеrаbіlіtу tо ѕеxuаl and physical аbuѕе, male and trаnѕ ѕеx wоrkеrѕ аrе аlѕо at rіѕk оf vіоlеnсе аnd are often stigmatized bесаuѕе of thеіr ѕеxuаl оrіеntаtіоn оr gеndеr іdеntіtу. Sеx workers аlѕо span thе rаngе оf mаrіtаl аnd

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Is escorting dangerous? Only if it’s illegal

anne hathaway

Prostitution in itself is not dangerous. The overwhelming majority of sex encounters we have during our lives are not dangerous. Escorting is nothing more than having sex (although many times it doesn’t involve penetration of any kind, or even touching!) and getting paid for it. Getting paid for having sex is not intrinsically dangerous. Unlike, for example, entertainment like boxing, or stunts in Hollywood movies. — Escorting Advice (@EscortingAdvice) July 29, 2015 Celebrities are sure trying to make sex work to look bad, from a safety perspective (let alone the dangerously arrogance of stating that it’s immoral – no one is asking you to do it, honey!). It’s not. Giving rights (allow me to say it again, with more emphasis this time: R-I-G-H-T-S) to sex workers only makes their lives better. When you criminalize their actions or their decisions to use their bodies to make profit because you don’t agree with that and/or you refuse to acknowledge the growing body of research, you’re harming sex workers and the society at large. Here’s a better written article that the excerpt below

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Pro-life people are just as wrong as the sex work “rescuers”

and egg is not a chicken

In the video below Rebecca Watson, a rational and articulated youtuber makes the case, sarcastically, for why we should outlaw childbirth based on the findings of a study that shows that more people regret having children than regret having abortions. After seeing the video and getting an idea of where I’m heading with this, please read on to see a number of reasons why those who argue that are pro-life are in fact doing more damage than good and they’re practically the very same people that we, as sex workers, have to deal with quite frequently, especially on the Internet. “A new study published in Plos One has found that 99% of women who have had abortions say that in retrospect having the abortion was the right decision to make at the time. This is only news because conservative Christians are constantly trying to tell women that they’re going to regret their decisions even going so far as to suggest that having an abortion will raise your chance other depression or suicide – both the which are completely untrue but

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Sex workers: we want rights, not rescue

alejandra berlin drinking

Media boasts about people being trafficked and ending up working as sex workers for decades. They were and are wrong in most cases. And it’s very saddening to realize this, because my life can be seriously affected by these poorly researched articles written by journalists with an agenda or who claim to have a moral right to tell others how to live their lives. The point here, I guess, it’s that my life has never been affected by the work I do and I’ve been providing sexual services for the past 5 years in Germany and other countries in UE. Not any more than your life has been affected as a doctor, politician, lawyer or teacher. There are some health risks involved, but those are extremely slim; you are taking more health risks as a surgeon or psychiatrist who is working with refugees and people with mental problems than I am. You are more likely (read tempted or in the position) to do something against the law or a mistake that involves the wellbeing of others as a politician or

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New Zeeland is the best country in the world for sex workers

New Zealand Prostitutes' Collective

New Zealand is the best place in the world to be a prostitute thanks to its robust laws, according an organisation which represents the nation’s sex workers. For almost a decade and a half, sex workers in New Zealand have been protected by the Prostitution Reform Act 2003, which sought to decriminalise prostitution. #NewZealand ‘best country to work as a #sexwork-er’, says New Zealand Prostitutes’ Collective — Research Project GER (@photogroffee) May 23, 2015 It’s not pot luck that New Zealand prostitutes have it better, says website. It can all be traced to a single piece of legislation that passed through parliament in 2003 — the Prostitution Reform Act. The decision 12 years ago to decriminalise sex work meant it became legal to work in managed brothels without a size limit, work for yourself, work from home, work from the street or work from the web. Janelle Fawkes from the Scarlett Alliance Sex Workers Association said it was time the rest of the country caught up. “Decriminalisation is recognised by the United Nations Secretary General, United Nations

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Lyon international meeting of sex workers (31 May – 2 June)

Lyon international meetings of sex workers 2015

STRASS (Strass Syndicat du travail sexuel), the Syndicate of Sex Workers in France, made a call for proposal for workshops for the international meeting of sex workers that will take place in Lyon between 31st of May and 2nd of June this year. They are actively looking for suggestions from sex workers from all over the world, although many of these suggestions will probably come from European countries as a result of the established education systems and citizenship. These meetings intend to address sex workers from all industries – their needs, the current socio-political environments in their own countries but also at a broader level, from the street level service providers to the adult film industry, webcam operators and everyone in between. The workshop proposals will be the basis of the program of the meeting; you must share your ideas before April 30 at: (the submission date has passed for these workshops, but ideas, proposals and justice seeking is as relevant as ever, even if your particular case is not going to be addressed this time). “If we receive

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The misery in the prostitution, by Felicia Anna

The misery in the prostitution

By Felicia Anna According to Jojanneke [Dutch journalist] it’s all misery in the prostitution. 70% would be forced, she claimed, a source has yet to been found. Yes, someone from the Public Prosecution Office would have said it, but how come nobody can find it than, if they know it so well? With her documentary Jojanneke wants to show the misery in prostitution. No surprise there, after all, she was already convinced even before her documentary that 80% was forced, so that’s what she’ll be looking for. Of course she claims to have searched for the ‘happy hooker’, a lady that does it out of her own free will. She didn’t find it, she claims. Strangely enough I’m really not that hard to find. And neither are the many other girls I personally know, friends, colleagues I’ve worked with for years, even girls I hate. In fact, it seems nobody I know has talked with Jojanneke, which begs the question: who did she talk to? It should come as no surprise that Jojanneke talked with the people that have had a bad experience in

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The difference between a “hooker” and a “porn star” – an open letter to Lisa Ann

lisa ann

KVA & Associates is a legal practice in Australia providing legal advice to the adult entertainment and sex work industry (Twitter). Lisa Ann is an American porn star, also an advocate (2010) of the Free Speech Coalition, which opposes the passage and enforcement of obscenity laws and many censorship laws but, ironically, not the “anti-piracy” laws. In a Youtube videoclip Lisa makes the case that is a clear difference between a “hooker” and a “porn star” and suggests that sex workers who make their living from escorting don’t share the same dignity and health-conscious ethics as those who work in the adult film industry. She goes on using pejorative terms regarding sex workers in the escorting industry, such as “weird ranch on mattresses” when they have sex in exchange for money (just like adult film actors also do) and catching “staph infections” while doing so, because – she implies –  escorts can’t have the same standards as the adult film industry actors when it comes to performing. KVA & Associates wrote an open letter to Lisa’s rather-ignorant video rant on their blog, making a

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Sex Work Is Real Work

sex work is real work

By Eva Gantz The most recent attack on the legitimacy of sex work attempts to indict the word itself. Sarah Ditum recently penned a piece entitled “Why we shouldn’t rebrand prostitution as ‘sex work.’ She lists various reasons for wanting to formalize and normalize the word “prostitute” instead. As some in the sexuality field may already know, many sex workers find the term “prostitute” offensive, and even consider it a slur. For this reason, there is a petition for AP style guide to change their official term to “sex worker” instead of “prostitute”. This petition is led by sex workers and their advocates and allies, and is one crucial step to decreasing stigma around this industry. Ditum’s insistence that sex work is not in fact legitimate work — and that we all call its workers by a word with a hurtful, stigmatized history — leads me to wonder how frequently Ditum herself has engaged in any sex work, since she feels so comfortable speaking on their behalf. It doesn’t appear that she has any meaningful experience in this field, at least from her prior

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Cyd Nova’s 9 Stereotypes Sex Workers Are Tired of Hearing

street style girl in short flower dress yellow sweater

Contrary to the popular belief that sex workers do or don’t do certain things, have or don’t have certain habits and so on, most sex workers want their job (because it’s a job, fella!) to be seen as a job and treated appropriately. If you don’t like to be defined by your job, try not to define sex workers by the job they’re doing. If you’re a programmer, you should know that in the 60’s you would’ve been treated as a hippie life waster instead of being perceived as a pioneer. If you are an artist chances are that in the past few years you’ve been discriminated against in some way or treated as if you’re not doing real work. A PR manager is something didn’t even exist as a job until recently, show some humbleness for Pete’s sake! And if you are trying to preach your religion-based morals to any of us, you’re not only wasting your time, but you’re insulting yourself and us by selling it as if it’s a good thing (it’s not, darling). But this is

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